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laptop-943558_640Friday night. You’re alone. You hitch up the baggy sweats you are wearing and plop down in front of the computer. Surfing the web on a weekend has become routine for you. Sometimes you mix it up and overdose on Netflix.

The rest of the week was so full, you didn’t have time to even socialize, much less find a date. You recognize a healthy, loving relationship can enhance so many afinger-280201_640spects of your life. However, finding someone you want to share your life with can seem like an impossible task.

Don’t despair. Even if you have a history of failed relationships or you feel burned out with trying to find lasting love, you should never give up.

There are several obstacles to finding a long-term relationship. Consider the following:

  • Possibly you were raised in a home where there was not an adequate role model of what a solid, healthy relationship looks like. Because of this you are unsure that such a thing actually exists outside of the movies and a few romantic novels.
  • Maybe your dating history has been filled with unfulfilling relationships.
  • It’s feasible that you attract the wrong type of person.
  • Maybe you are in the wrong environment to meet the right person. Possibly your work or your location is inconsistent with finding the type of individual you will be compatible with.
  • Maybe you aren’t willing to recognize that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship and that all relationships require work.

Whatever the reason, you may need to start re-assessing your situation and your possible misconceptions about dating and relationships that can prevent you from finding lasting love.

HelpGuide.org is a non-profit guide which deals with mental health and issues regarding your overall well-being.

Here they list some of the common myths about dating and looking for love

Myth:

“I can only be happy and fulfilled if I’m in a relationship.” or “It’s better to have a bad relationship than no relationship.”

Reality:

While there are health benefits that come with being in a healthy relationship, many people can be just as happy and fulfilled without being part of a couple. Despite the stigma in some social circles that accompanies being single, it’s important not to enter a relationship just to “fit in.” Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. Nothing is as unhealthy and dispiriting as being in a bad relationship.

Myth:

“If I don’t feel an instant attraction to someone, it’s not a relationship worth pursuing.”

Reality:

This is an important myth to dispel, especially if you have a history of making inappropriate choices. Instant sexual attraction and lasting love do not necessarily go hand-in-hand. Emotions can change and deepen over time, and friends sometimes become lovers—if you give those relationships a chance to develop.

Myth:

“Women have different emotions than men.”

Reality:

Women and men feel similar things but sometimes express their feelings differently, often according to society’s conventions. But both men and women experience the same core emotions such as sadness, anger, fear, and joy.

Myth:

“True love is constant.” or “Physical attraction fades over time.”

Reality:

Love is rarely static, but that doesn’t mean love or physical attraction is doomed to fade over time. As we age, both men and women have fewer sexual hormone,s but emotion often influences passion more than hormones, and sexual passion can become stronger over time.

Myth:

“I’ll be able to change the things I don’t like about someone.”

Reality:

You can’t change anyone. People only change if and when they want to change.

Myth:

“I didn’t feel close to my parents, so intimacy is always going to be uncomfortable for me.”

Reality:

It’s never too late to change any pattern of behavior. Over time, and with enough effort, you can change the way you think, feel, and act.

Myth:

“Disagreements always create problems in a relationship.”

Reality:

Conflict doesn’t have to be negative or destructive. With the right resolution skills, conflict can also be an opportunity for growth in a relationship.

Watch our next blog to discuss what to look for in a long-lasting relationship.